thanks everyone
i want to thank everyone for the advice and
welcome!! im now conviced that i should go to the doc bare.
when im not wearing makeup i feel naked, like im not
fit for anyone to see me. maybe somehow it will be a
way for me to get comfortable with my skin. i think i
got spoiled when i started wearing foundation. i
never wore makeup when i was 15 and 16 and that is when
my acne was the worst,even when i was on
prescriptions. at 17 it got a lot better because i stopped
resting my face on my pillow and hands. i still break out
though and use foundation all the time to cover up. now
i think i look absolutley horrible with out it. i
just turned 19 and i never date, i sit in my room
alone everynight stressing over what my skin looks
like. i get asked out a lot, but i get asked out with
my makeup on. doubt if they would ever want to date
me if they saw me with out my cover. i avoided
getting serious and close with a lot of guy friends i had
because i could never show them the real me.i look and
feel like a goddess with my makeup on. i feared that
if they saw me in the buff they would run away. i
lost a lot of contact with friends because i hate
anyone to see me like this. my mom did take me to the
doc and i was put on tetra(did nada) then i was put
on tetra and some topical bp cream(did nothing but
dry up my skin and then i broke out big). i stopped
going to the doc when i was 18. i thought if i find the
right product, routine, and wait it out till i grow out
of it, it would go away….nope. i just turned 19
this month and realized that i cant do it alone. i
have lived my whole teen years as an empty shell and i
dont want to enter my 20s this way. so i made an
appointment with my doc to see if we can try something
else.she wanted to set it up for the end of june, but i
talked her into makeing it earlier. i dont know why i
stopped going, i guess it was just denial. i want to live
my life and i cant with acne. i feel so selfish
because there our a lot of ppl out there with bigger
problems and physical "problems". i have seen ppl with
more severe acne,in wheelchairs, scars and mental
disorders live their life more than i am. i guess im just
not strong like i should be. acne isnt ruining my
life, it is ruining my attitude and my attitude is
ruining my life. sorry this is long and i sound so
depressing, but i had to vent and its hard for me to talk to
ppl about this. maybe i will post later about my skin
problems and see if i can hear some opinions about what is
going on. <br><br>good luck everyone!!